Putting Broken Pieces Back Together

Tonight with Chris and Alex being away, Katy Beth and I decided to have a movie night. We were both excited about our time together, " just us girls". We went to Red Box and looked through all the movies. I wanted a girlie movie for girls night and Katy Beth really wanted to see Hugo because she had read the book and we hadn't seen it in the theater. Hugo is not the typical kind of book or movie genre I enjoy but it is one that Katy Beth truly loves so of course we got the movie. It is mother/daughter night after all. I must say it is quite an odd movie but one that has some interesting parts to it that I rather enjoyed. I know it was mostly the great company but there really was one part of the movie that really caught my attention, so much so that I had to rewind it twice because I wanted to capture the words. Hugo and the young girl were up in the clock tower where he lives and they were discussing the importance of machines and how they work ( if you haven't seen the movie it has a lot to do with machines, engineering, and how things work) so anyway, the two are discussing the importance of machines and Hugo very clearly and deliberately says, " Well, everything has a purpose. Even machines have a purpose, trains take you places, clocks tell you what time it is.They do what they are meant to do. Maybe that is why broken machines make me so sad. They can't do what they are meant to do. Maybe it is the same with people. When you lose your purpose it is like you are broken. " And the little girl says," Like George, he has lost his purpose." These two kids got it. They saw that the girl's godfather had lost his purpose in life. He was broken. I had to pause for quite some time and really think about this. We all have a purpose here on Earth. One that I believe God has intended specifically for each of us. How many times do we let the world and circumstances in the world consume us where we can't focus on our true purpose for being here? How many times are we so caught up in our own worlds that we can't see the hurt and lose of purpose someone else is feeling? You never know what someone is going through. Sometimes we don't know because often the outside looks okay but it is the inside that is really broken. We have to be mindful of our purpose so we can always be ready to share that purpose with someone who needs to know, someone who is broken and needs to be put back together. Just like a broken machine, a broken person just needs one person to help them put the pieces back together so they can become new and do what they were meant to do.

What I'm Learning about Unfailing Love...

I love summer time. As an educator, it is a time that I can truly sit back and rest, learn, listen and grow in my walk with God. The school year can be very hectic and crazy but summer always gives me a time to grow deeper in my walk with God. Many youth and kids have summer camps where they get to deepen their relationship with God but for me it is the extra time I get to spend with Him each and every morning of the summer. This summer God seems to be teaching me more than I ever thought possible. He is showing me some areas of my life that He has wanted full control over for quite some time and I am now able to give Him that control. One of those things was what I wrote about in my last post the difference between Believing In God and Believing God. Through a Beth Moore study on strongholds that I am doing with a very close group of friends on Wednesday mornings, God is showing me some areas of my life that I really didn't think I had "issues" with but WOW can His Word shine a light on the things He wants us to get. Thinking back on this one thing, I can see time and time again in my life where He has wanted me to get it and I think at times maybe I have but have not totally surrendered it. The area is a craving and a desire for unfailing love and that desire to be met by HIM and ONLY HIM, nothing else. As a woman this is especially hard at times, God created us for this desire but in our world it is SO easy to try to fill our cup with so many other things than God. These other things are, as I am learning, sometimes even "good" things. Beth Moore writes," God created us with a cavernous need that we would seek to fill until we found Him." How many times in my life have I tried to fill this cavernous need with other things than HIM ALONE? All to often I am afraid, for many years it was buying things. I loved to fill this void with stuff. Sometimes it may be a hamburger and fries that can fill this craving if I have had a long hard day. Recently I have filled this need by staying busy doing "good" things for God. Other times, I try to have my awesome, amazing, wonderfully loving husband fill this need. But God is showing me that NOTHING can fill this cavernous need for unfailing love but HIM. As awesome as some of our relationships on Earth can be with friends and loved ones, it truly goes back to HIM. Beth Moore goes on to say, " Searching for perfect, unfailing love in anyone ( and I would add anything) else is not only fruitless it is disappointing and destructive." We are not free to love in the true intent of the word until we have found love. I believe I have found this love in Jesus Christ but for quite some time now I haven't been spending enough time with Him in total surrender so my cup could be filled to the brim by HIM alone so I could then love others with all of my heart. I am praying that through this surrender of this stronghold that I will seek HIM first each morning and get my cup filled completely by Him so that I do not go around throughout the day trying to get my cup filled by approval of others ( can I get an amen), affirmation, control, success or immediate gratification ( shopping and food). WE were made to have this constant craving for love, but it can't be filled with anything else but GOD through His son Jesus Christ. I would encourage each of you to dig a little deeper, what things do you try to fill your cup with? We all do it. We all have things we try to fill our cup with, surrender those to God and get filled by Him. Then once we are filled by Him first, other love from others is just a bonus and we are much more pleasurable to be around when our cups are filled by Jesus first. My new life verse: Psalm 143:8 Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I entrust my life.

Believing In God and Believing God: What I'm Learning Is the Difference

Do you ever have a time in your life when you are sensing a theme that God is trying to get across to you and He is using every avenue to do so? Well, that is what I have experienced over the last several weeks. God has been trying to show me that there is a huge difference in believing "in" Him and believing Him. What does that mean exactly, well as a Christian I believe in God. I know He is The Almighty, the King of Kings, the Lord of Lords. He created Heaven and Earth, but do I believe Him? The answer I believe comes through my prayer life. When I have a problem, do I go to my best friend on the phone or do I pray to God? When I find out great news, do I always send out a shout of praise and thank God? The answer is sometimes but not always. The other question I have to ask myself is, do I always believe that He hears my prayer and do I believe Him to answer that prayer? Through our 360 series at church and the bible study I do with some of my closest friends on Wednesday mornings, God is most definitely showing me a theme. He wants me to do more than just believe "in" Him. He wants me to believe Him. If it says in the bible, " Ask and you will receive..." believe it! That doesn't mean that everything I ask I will receive, another thing I am learning is that He answers in different ways, immediately, delayed, or differently. He knows what we need before we even ask it so He may have a different or better plan or even a delayed plan. Sometimes He may even say " No" because He knows the plans that He has for us. He declares that for us. But, I do know that I have to ask with a believing heart. Like the man in Mark 9:223-24, Jesus says to him, Everthing is possible for him who believes, and he responds, " I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief." My prayer is that God would continue to grow in me a pure heart that is full of faith. That no matter what that if I pray and ask with a pure heart,earnestly ask it in God's will and asking it in Jesus Name that one way or the other God will answer my prayer. There are two specific strongholds in my life that I am circling with prayer and believing God to give me insight and freedom from at this time in my life. What is it that you need to believe God for? It is one thing to believe "in" God and another to believe God. Ask him and believe that he will answer you. It may be immediately, delayed or differently but I believe He will answer me and He will answer you if we only believe...

A New Year and A New Thought

With a new year started, I have been thinking about the possiblities that a new year can bring. There is so much hope in what is yet to come. Three times this week I have been in my car listening to our local Christian radio station and a certain song has come on. The song is, Everything You Do, by Stephen Curtis Chapman. This song has really made me think about... well... EVERYTHING. It really is our attitude towards the circumstances in life that can be so telling of our walk with God. In everything that I do, whether that be creating a sunday school lesson, folding laundry... finding those socks that never seem to match up, have a heart to heart with a teacher who is struggling in their marriage. If I think about doing EVERYTHING I do to HIS GLORY then I have done what I am called to do. Whatever walk of life we are in, we are called to do whatever He has called us to do to HIS GLORY. I plan on listening to this song each day this year as I meditate on these words and try to bring HIM GLORY each day. I know I may fail at times but I am so thankful for his LOVE and HIS GRACE.  Here is a link to the song. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FEqdDdvFXZ0

Time Again...

What an amazing weekend! Chris and I had such a remarkable time at our church's marriage conference, Romance Uncensored, at the Branson Landing! This year's theme was Touch, Tone, Timing! I love how I can see God working in my life on the same issues through many different venues! He really does know that I need to hear things over and over again to get it! I am so very thankful for His patience!!
This weekend Pastor Shannon had ,as usual, incredible, biblical advice on marriage and the importance of touch and how important tone is during conflict , because yes there will be conflict, but the one area that really struck me was the area of timing. God is really hitting this area hard with me! In all honesty, if my time is right then my tone is much easier to have in check! I just know that when my time is out of whack and I am rushed, over scheduled,and overwhelmed that is a recipe for my tone to be not so pleasant and touch well that's another story!:)
There were several things that I took away about time/timing. One of the most important was a verse I have listened to but I don't know how completely and totally intentional I have been with applying this to every area of my life. It is James 1:19 " Let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to be anger." At times when I let my schedule be over taken with doing too many good things I sometimes let the best things ( my family) get the quick
reactions from an overworking mom and even others around me.
Which leads me to what Shannon had to say to us overworking spouses... He asked these 3
questions and honestly I am still trying to think through them and find the truth that is
going to set me free from being a workaholic.
1. What does work mean to you? 2. What satisfaction does it bring you? 3. What need is work
fulfilling?
I do see God changing my heart about work. I truly love what I do as an instructional facilitator and I do believe it makes a difference but he is also showing me balance and the importance of my family. I want to be that Proverbs 31 woman for them. I want to be full of faith, trustworthy, have my priorities inline, my time be well spent, manage my finances under Chris's leadership, be the mother I am meant to be, serve from my heart, and be a woman of industry. I know that only with God's help will I get there. I am leaning on Him to continue to mold me and get me where He wants me to be. All in His timing...

The Next 10 Years

Our Campus Pastor challenged us today to think about all that has happened in our lives in the last ten years since 9/11 and to think about what our lives might be like in the next ten years. That has really got me thinking...
10 years ago I was a 1st grade teacher at a wonderful private school in Fayetteville, the mother of a 23 month old girl,a wife of 5 years to the love of my life, and a very lukewarm Christian.

Many things have shaped me in the last 10 years: having a baby boy the day my husband, Chris, left for 14 months to go to Iraq, breaking my foot and almost dying from a pulmonary embolism, joining Brand New Church, a church in which I have learned and grown so much over the last 4 years but none of these are more important than beginning to have a true relationship with Christ.
As of right now, I am an instructional facilitator in Fayetteville, the mother of 2 great and challenging kids, the wife to the man of my dreams but I am learning so much about myself right now too. I'm learning so so many areas in which I need to grow.
Through Chris's leadership and the help of good old Dave Ramsey, I have learned much about
finances, I am learning how to say" no"and set my priorities on what is important not just
lots of "good things",I am learning how to be led and that I don't have to be in control ( not easy for me), and I am learning that in these next 10 years God has some big things in store!
Who knows the path He has set before me? I just know I am glad He is in charge. Maybe he has planned for us to move to Nashville for Chris to work for Dave, maybe He wants me to work part time to spend more time with my family, maybe He wants us to adopt, I really don't know what the next 10 years will bring, we are not even promised our next breath, but I do know I am excited to see what God is about to do in my life, in our family's life.. I am excited to see how God is going to grow me to rely on Him more and more!!


Where have you grown in the last ten years and what are you believing God to do in the next 10?

It Has Taken Years But It Is Finally Sinking In...

I meet each Thursday with a very small group of women for coffee and accountability.  Two weeks ago, we were looking for our newest book to read and learn from together. There were many books to choose from Sun Stand Still, Radical, Crazy Love, and the list goes on and on but after our discussion of all of these books that afternoon we got a text from our fearless leader that said, "  K, made a change... final decision. Next study will be WEIRD by Craig Groeschel. Get out and get it! Get ready!! We r normal:) this will rock our world. I'm on page 19."
"Okay," I think to myself I can do this. So I download the sample of WEIRD into my iBooks. Yes, the sample because I didn't have enough money at the time in my entertainment envelope to buy it.  I begin to read the intro and can totally relate to Groeschel on his college years. Mine were much the same.  Then all of a sudden I begin to read Part 1: TIME. I should have known this subject was going to convict me but I never knew how much it would.  God has been working on this area in my life for about 3 years now ever since I broke my foot and I had to rely on others around me. But TIME has always been an enemy of mine. I have often joked that I have " Martha-like" tendencies that I don't know how to say "no."  All of which is true. I never wanted to let anyone down by saying those two letters.  But over the last 3 years it is something I have struggled off and on with.  I will do better for a time and then I let my priorties get out of wack!  There were several things in this first chapter that once again caught my attention. Things that I know God wants to use to make sure I stay on this narrow road...
1. " When we overschedule ourselves in the belief that we can do everything, we stop being human and try to become godlike- not only impossible but also incredibly arrogant. Most of us are living at a pace that is not only unsustainable; it's unbiblical.
2.  " You have enough time to do everything God wants you to do."
3." We need to use the time we already have differently.
4.  " We fall into the trap of beign busy instead of being bigger than the tyranny of the urgent."
5. Normal people allow good things to become the enemy of the best things. Too many good ( or acceptable) things quickly overwhelm the most important things in life.
6. Keeping an "or" in the water prevents filling your boat with so many good things that they ultimately sink the ship.
All of these statements struck me to my core, I can so easily say " yes" to  many "good' things that the important things in my life are shut out. I know this is something I constantly battle but I am believing that if I will allow God to take over He will show me what I need to say "yes" to and what is okay to say "no" to.  I am learning to say "or" and not " and".
Wednesday night, after I had finished making my "To Do List" for work on Thursday I finished this first chapter where Craig ask you to stop and make a " To Don't List", " A What?," I asked myself.  I write a " To Do" list every day but I must say I have never written a " To Don't List".  He wants me to write a list of at least 3 activities in my life that I'm going to drop. I must say I didn't do it that night. I skimmed it but Thursday morning all 4 of us sat drinking our coffee and discussing what things we were going to eliminate so we could focus on more important things.  It was now all about accountability. So we each made our list and shared...
My To Don't List:
1.  Don't stay at work after 4 pm more than three days a week. ( Not sure how I am going to do that but it is called faith, right?)
2. No work email or phone calls after 5 pm each day.
3.  No Facebook, Twitter, reading, skimming, etc on the weekend ( I can post but no spending time on reading about what everyone around me is doing) I need to live more in the present.

There were a few others but these are my top 3. I must say I left work at 3:45 on Thursday but bombed on Friday and left at 5:15.  I did better on the work email and phone calls. I did better than I have in a while this weekend on the Facebook, Twitter but I must say I am a work in progress but I am determined to make a change and am so lucky that I have some wonderful ladies to keep me accountable.
Yesterday before church it all really hit me about how bad I am to say "yes" before really thinking things through, I know God is going to help me and I know that for once it is sinking in. There is no time like the present,right.

 So now that you know what God is teaching me, "What things do you need to put on your " To Don't List"?  How well are using the time that has been given to you?" Just something to think about in this crazy, fast paced world in which we live in.